There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Today I saw a red-and-yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday, too, and it rained.
My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women.
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
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